Iion Tikhiy - “a famous star explorer, captain of a distant galactic navigation, hunter for meteors and comets, a tireless researcher who discovered eighty thousand three worlds, an honorary doctor of the universities of the Two Bears, a member of the Society for the Guardianship of Minor Planets and many other societies, cavalier of the Milky and Nebula Hordes "- the author of eighty-seven volumes of diaries (with maps of all travels and applications).
Iion the Pacific's space travels abound with incredible adventures. So, in the seventh trip, he falls into the loop of time and multiplies before his eyes, meeting with himself Monday, Thursday, Sunday, Friday, last year and others - from the past and the future. Two boys save the situation (which Tikhiy was so long ago!) - they correct the power regulator and repair the steering wheel, and peace reigns in the rocket. During the journey, the Fourteenth Pacific has to justify before the General Assembly of the Organization of the United Planets the acts of the inhabitants of Zimia (under this name planet Earth appears there). He fails to present in a favorable light the achievements of terrestrial science, in particular atomic explosions. Some delegates generally doubt the reasonableness of the inhabitants of the Earth, and some even deny the possibility of life on the planet. The question arises of the entrance fee of earthlings, which should amount to a billion tons of platinum. Towards the end of the meeting, the alien from Tarrakania, who is very sympathetic to the inhabitants of the Earth, trying to demonstrate how the representative of earthlings Iyon Tikhiy worked soundly in evolution, begins to hammer him on the crown with his huge suction cup ... And Tikhiy wakes up in horror. The fourteenth journey leads the Pacific to Enteropia. Getting ready for the flight. Quiet is studying an article about this planet in the volume of the Space Encyclopedia. He learns that the dominant race on it is “ardrites, sentient, multi-transparent, symmetrical, unpaired, sentient beings.” Among animals, kurdli and osmiola are especially noted. After reading the article, Tikhiy remains unaware of what “estimates” are and what are “sepulchi”. At the suggestion of the head of the repair shop, Iion Tikhiy risks putting his brain on a rocket "with a battery of jokes for five years." Indeed, at first Tikhiy listens with pleasure, then something happens to the brain: telling jokes, he swallows the salt, begins to speak in syllables, and the whole trouble is that it cannot be shut up - the switch broke.
Quiet arrives on Enteropia. A spaceport employee, crystal clear, ardrit, looking at him, turns green (“ardrites express feelings with a change of color; green corresponds to our smile”) and, asking the necessary questions (“Are you vertebrate? Lung-breathing?”), Sends the newcomer to the “reserve workshop” ”, Where the technician takes some measurements and says goodbye to the cryptic phrase:“ If something happens to you during the race, you can be completely calm ... we will immediately deliver the reserve. ” Quiet does not quite understand what is being discussed, but does not ask questions - many years of wandering taught him restraint.
Once in the city, Tikhiy enjoys the rare view that the central quarters at dusk represent. Ardrites do not know artificial lighting, because they glow themselves. Buildings sparkle and flare up by residents who return home, parishioners shine in ecstasy in the temples, children rainbowly shimmer on the stairwells. In the conversations of passers-by, Tikhiy hears the familiar word “sepulk” and finally tries to find out what it can mean. But he doesn’t ask any of the ardrites where to buy the sepule, the question every time causes them bewilderment (“How do you take it without a wife?”), Embarrassment and anger, which is immediately expressed by their color. Having given up the idea of learning at least something about sepulchi, Silent is about to hunt Kurdle. The conductor gives him instructions. They are clearly necessary, because the animal in the process of evolution adapted to meteorite precipitation, building up an impenetrable carapace, and therefore "hunt for the Kurds from the inside." To do this, you need to smear a special paste and “season” yourself with mushroom sauce, onions and peppers, sit down and wait (grabbing the bomb with both hands) until the Kurdle swallows the bait. Once inside the Kurdle, the hunter adjusts the clock mechanism of the bomb and, using the cleansing effect of the paste, leaves as soon as possible "in the direction opposite to where it came from." Leaving kurdlya, you should try to fall on both arms and legs, so as not to hurt. The hunt is successful, the Kurdle takes the bait, but another hunter is caught in the innards of the Tikhiy beast - ardrit, who is already setting the clockwork. Each is trying to give up the right to hunt the other, losing precious time. The hospitality of the owner wins, and both hunters soon leave Kurdle. A monstrous explosion is heard - Iyon Tikhiy receives another hunting trophy - they promise him to make a scarecrow and send him to Earth with a cargo rocket.
For several days Tikhiy was busy with a cultural program - museums, exhibitions, visits, official receptions, speeches. One morning he wakes up from a terrible roar. It turns out that this is a smeg, a seasonal meteor shower falling on the planet every ten months. No shelter can provide protection against smeg, but there is no cause for concern, since everyone has a reserve. Regarding the reserve, the Pacific fails to find out anything, but it soon becomes clear what it is. Heading for an evening performance in the theater, he witnesses a direct hit of a meteorite in the theater building. A large cistern immediately rolls in, from which some kind of resin-like mess flows out, repair ardrites begin to pump air through pipes, the bubble grows at breakneck speed and in a minute becomes an exact copy of the theater building, which is still quite soft, vibrating with gusts of wind. Five minutes later, the building hardens and the audience fills it. Sitting down, Tikhiy notices that it is still warm, but this is the only evidence of a recent catastrophe. In the course of the play, the heroes are brought sepules in a huge box, but this time too, Iyon Tikhoi is not destined to find out what it is. He feels a blow and loses his senses. When Tikhiy comes to his senses, completely different heroes are already on the scene and there is no talk of sepules. A nearby ardrite explains that he was killed by a meteorite, but a reserve was brought from an astronautical agency. Quiet immediately returns to the hotel and carefully examines himself to ensure his own identity. At first glance, everything is in order, but the shirt is worn inside out, the buttons are fastened anyhow, and in the pockets there are scraps of packaging. Research of the Pacific is interrupted by a phone call: Professor Zazul, a prominent Ardrit scholar, wants to meet with him. Quiet goes to a professor living in the suburbs. Along the way, he catches up with an elderly arthritis carrying "something like a covered cart" in front of him. They continue the journey together. Approaching the hedge. Quiet sees puffs of smoke on the site of the professor's house. His companion explains that the meteorite fell a quarter of an hour ago, and the home-blowers will arrive now - they are not in a hurry outside the city. He himself asks Tikhov to open the gate to him and begins to lift the lid of the cart. Through a hole in the packaging of a large bundle, the Quiet sees a living eye. A creaky senile voice is heard inviting the Quiet to wait in the arbor. But he hurriedly rushes to the cosmodrome and leaves Enteropia, nourishing in his soul the hope that Professor Zazul is not offended by him.
